Give and Take
by numbartist
Summary: Sarah finally begins to let Chuck in but it's having a greater toll on her life that she could have ever imagined; Season 2 AU  Sarah/Chuck


Author's Note: My first Chuck and Sarah Fic. :) It's an AU piece that takes place in S2. Based on the prompt by my friend Danielle (aka Danielle-Maxwell (dA) or welcometoasgard (tumblr)): Sarah has the simple task of scaling down the wall of the Buy More, but why has she suddenly become afraid of heights? During the writing of this, I thought about making it a chapter fic. :) I left it open ended in case there was interest, which you should let me know if you do have some! Hope you enjoy it!

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><p>Mission 1: Save Chuck.<p>

The evening began with the intention of a simple night in. Sarah made her way across the courtyard, mentally preparing herself for the wearing task ahead; playing a loving girlfriend was proving to be more and more difficult these days as she and Chuck grew distant. She missed the moments when their cover almost felt real. Now it seemed that every moment that was conceived uncomfortably. Sarah shook her head and sighed before stepping forward toward the apartment door. The doorbell had barely sounded when Ellie's beaming face appeared before her. She returned the smile, trying to remain equally sincere, but ultimately felt more like a fraud than a close friend.

Chuck was absent from the room when she walked through the door. Devon called out a greeting, to which Sarah politely returned, as Ellie joined him in the kitchen. Sarah was now in the awkward position of standing alone in the spacious room, which seems to be growing larger as she remained. She glanced down the hall, hoping that maybe Chuck was nearby, but it was empty. Devon and Ellie noticed her discomfort and suggested she check his room. After considering it for a few moments, she found herself knocking on the wooden door. A thick echo seemed to be the only response.

Sarah cracked open the door and called out to him. "Hey, Chuck… It's Sarah." Silence. She peered in and was surprised to discover he'd gone. She found this to be a huge annoyance. After all, he had invited _her_ over. Things had become so tense with them lately, she had hoped tonight would ease that. Her initial reaction faded into worry. He must not have done this intentionally. She had to investigate.

"Ellie, Devon," She called out into the hallway. "Chuck and I are going for a walk before dinner. We'll be back soon." And without waiting for a reply, she slipped out of the bedroom window.

As soon as she took a step out of the courtyard, her phone began to buzz. Come to _Castle ASAP. _Sarah felt a twinge of relief at Casey's message; Chuck probably received the message before her and headed over before she arrived to the apartment. She didn't give any other possibility a thought as she drove herself to the Buy More.

At Castle, Sarah was greeted by an expression of amusement as she walked down the stairs toward Casey and the table overlooking the flat screen monitors. Chuck wasn't here. Sarah narrowed her eyes. "What's our mission?"

Casey sneered. "No mission. Not a real one, anyway. Seems lover boy has gotten himself locked on the roof of the Buy More. The idiots that work there were pulling some sort of prank or something and the door got jammed. He needs us to get him out." He used his head to point to a bag of general spy equipment on the table. "Get crackin'." Sarah groaned as she snatched the bag and headed back upstairs.

Sarah walked through the Buy More with expert stealth, slipping through the halls and up to the restricted stairwell easily without being seen by the lounging employees, who couldn't be bothered at this most unhurried time of the business, or any other time for that matter. When she reached the door, she couldn't quite figure out how the door was jammed but it wouldn't open. Her expertise didn't extend to doors and mechanics. Thankfully, some of the equipment proved to be useful and with some work, the handle finally turned.

With the door finally opened, she peered out, hand instinctively on the weapon at the small of her back. "Chuck?" she called out at a half whisper. Silence. She jiggled the handle, making sure that the door was still operational, and stepped out onto the roof. Surprisingly enough, the view was spectacular. The city was lit and active but there was a sort of peace. It was comforting.

Sarah shook her head, bringing herself back to the task at hand. She called out again but this time, she heard a noise to the right and turned her head. There was Chuck, sitting with his head in his hands. He didn't move as he heels clicked on the concrete, nearing his side. She sat down next to him without really thinking about it.

She opened her mouth, but the words never formed. They sat for a few moments before he finally spoke, his words muffled. "We should go."

However, Chuck made no effort to stand. Sarah frowned. She leaned over to touch his arm and he flinched. A knot formed in her throat but she ignored it and finally gained a voice. "Chuck, Ellie and Devon are waiting for us. I don't know what kind of prank Morgan and the others were pulling when they broke the door but–" She stopped when she saw him shaking his head, mumbling something she couldn't quite understand. "What?"

He finally lifted his head from his hands but continued to avoid her gaze. "They didn't do anything. I just lied so I wouldn't sound like an idiot. I got myself locked up here." He sighed. "Sometimes I come up here when I have a lot on my mind. It's the only quiet place I have to think. The door has been temperamental so I've avoided coming up but with everything going on…" He trailed off and waited a moment before speaking again. "I know it's been awkward between us but I don't want it to be. I want it to be easy for me, us being friends, but I don't know how. I don't know how to not want to be with you." He finally turned to face her. He shook his head, frustrated. "I don't know how much longer I can do this, Sarah. I've tried for so long and it's just… exhausting. "

Chuck's eyes spoke louder than the heaviness of his words. He was sad but it was more than that. He was resigned, exhausted, dejected; Sarah's heart ached more than she ever thought it could. Before she could stop herself, she took his hand. "I know we can't be together but I can still be here for you." She hesitated before admitting, "You're my best friend, Chuck." He gave her a small smile and looked down at their intertwined hands. Her breath caught as he began to stroke the delicate skin with his thumb. The stern words of warning she had to repeat so many times rose to her throat but as he inched his face closer to hers, all she could whisper was an unsteady "Chuck…" before trailing off.

Their foreheads met first and surprisingly, he didn't move nearer. Sarah blinked up at him, her bright eyes giving away her disappointment and she tried to backtrack. She used this moment to voice her many protests, about how it was wrong and how it would potentially compromise the agency and themselves. The words felt stale on her tongue and when Chuck lifted his free hand to caress her cheek, she was happy to let the words fade off into nothing. As his fingertips ran along her skin, her heart began to skip beats furiously. "We can't." She whispered a final attempt, half hoping he would pull away and half hoping he would ignore her. She could smell the comforting scent of his shampoo and aftershave, which she had experienced on occasions; it was now intoxicating her senses. She watched his lips intently, licking her own in anticipation.

"I don't see why not." As their lips met, Sarah's entire body lightened, as if hesitation and resistance had weighed her down and was completely alleviated with this kiss. His touch was pleasantly softer than she remembered. His lips were didn't overwhelm hers and he was surprisingly gentle for someone with his continued insistence. Realizing he was waiting for a response, she returned the kiss with more genuine passion that she believed she could possess. She pulled their intertwined hands apart only so that she could touch his face and run her hands through his thick curly locks as she deepened the kiss with the parting of lips. His hands ran along the curve of her back and her waist before returning cupping her cheeks, so that when they parted, he still held her close.

Sarah breathed heavy, having difficulty fighting the spinning sensation overtaking her; she was thankful to be sitting because she was sure that had she been standing, her knees would've given away at the first touch. Their eyes met and she couldn't help but smile at the glow that surrounded the man that had moments ago been seriously depressed. She couldn't let him go back to being that man again. She never wanted to be a disappointment or let him down again. She took a long breath before speaking. "Maybe we could make this work." A smile formed on his face so wide, her heart began to swell. He opened his mouth to say something but she soon found herself in his arms as he wrapped them around her, holding her close, as though worried she might reconsider.

Their smiles mirrored one another as they pulled apart. She was beginning to wonder why and how she had resisted for so long. He stood and held out a hand. "Time we get off this roof, huh?" She smiled and let him pull her.

Sarah's elated heart fell, however, when Chuck tried to open the door back into the Buy More, the handle wouldn't turn. Sarah tried it herself but the door was heavily burglar proof. She dug through her bag and discovered that she had left her tools on the other side of the door. The items she had left gave her only one option… "Shit," she muttered, wincing slightly. "Bad news, Chuck. The door is not opening tonight. More bad news; given my equipment, we might have to scale down the wall." His eyes grew wide, as they often did. "Don't worry, I've done this thousands of times, this is spying 101. It's the quickest way down from here."

She started to explain the procedure as she walked over to the edge of the roof to scope out their predicament. Sarah's words were calm and collected but as soon as she looked over the concrete barrier, her heart began to race and her head grew dizzy. Sarah quickly backed away from the edge, more uncomfortable with the reaction than anything else. She had never been afraid of heights, even during her training. What could have happened to change this?

Sarah's throat tightened and she twisted her head to look at Chuck, who was fumbling with her pack. No. He couldn't be the reason. There was no way…right? Sarah's feelings had always been in check… but was it a coincidence that as she let her guard down, buried fears found their way to the surface?

All she could do was ignore it and hope that this was just some fluke. This wasn't because of Chuck. She wouldn't–couldn't believe that.

"Chuck, call Casey. We may need to find another way out of here." Sarah attempted to swallow her hesitation and fear before walked back toward the man that was already changing her more than she realized, marking the beginning of an internal struggle with herself.

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><p>TBC? Let me know what you think. :)<p> 


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